I'm a runner

I trained for my first marathon using a book called "The Marathon Guide for Non-Runners." It was meant to take people who were in decent shape but hadn't been running that long and train them just enough so that they could finish the race sixteen weeks later. The plan got me across the line, albeit with a very slow finish time, and it also left me with a complex about whether or not I was a real runner. For a long time I would tell people that I ran but I wasn't one of those crazy runners, which in my mind meant that I didn't run seven days a week, avoided early morning runs if at all possible, and more than anything else, I was slow. I felt the need to warn people that I was slow and feared that if I called myself a "real" runner people might think I was fast. I assumed you had to qualify to be a "real" runner just like qualifying for the Boston marathon, and it was clear to me that would not happen.

But it's been two and a half years since that first marathon, and it's been followed by a second one plus three half marathons -- all of which I ran in the last twelve months. I'm still not a "crazy" runner -- no one has to hold me back from running the week after a marathon (or the month after for that matter). But I also know that as much as I sometimes don't like running, most of the time I do or I wouldn't continue to do it. All the health benefits in the world wouldn't get me out of the door week after week if there wasn't something enjoyable about the time outside and the burn in my legs. I'm still not fast, but I think I'm ready to call myself a runner. More than that, I think I'm proud to call myself a runner. Here's why:

1. Running holds people accountable. Lack of training? You're going to feel it. Those extra calories? You have to carry those every step of the way. Standing at the starting line of a race forces you to ask the questions you can ordinarily ignore: Am I strong enough? What will I tell myself when it gets hard?

2. Racing comes with cheerleaders. People who are not even related to you will get up early on the weekend and say encouraging things to you as you pass. They'll even give you high fives.

3. Women will wear unflattering clothes when they run and not even care. Women who normally wear big sweaters or relaxed-fit jeans will wear tiny shorts or tights that look like they're been painted on. Fashion won't get anyone a finisher's medal on race day but wick-away fabric might just make all the difference.

I'm sure other sports offer similar benefits, but for me, I'm satisfied to say that I am officially a runner.

Finding the right balance

I ran the Philadelphia half marathon this morning and as I passed by the Unitarian Church I read the weekly quote that they post in front and it said "If you spend your time dreaming about your future self, you miss out on the person you are." Well, I had about seven miles left and the relentless knee pain was slowing me down, so there was plenty of time to mull the quote over. So I wondered, how do you draw the line between embracing who you are and wanting to be better or different? One of my favorite movie lines of all time comes from Junebug and goes something like this: "God loves you just the way you are, and too much to let you stay that way." But how could I embrace myself today and still have the motivation to be better?

I think it's all about looking at the positives. For example, today the person I was was someone who hadn't really trained as much as I should have and had also been ignoring knee pain for weeks. But I was also someone who ran a half marathon even though one side of my body felt like it was on fire. In the future, I would like to be someone who trains more but maintains the mental toughness to fight through pain when it comes.

Today I am someone who is a decent runner, but has little experience with biking or swimming. In the future, or in about six months when I do my first half-ironman to be more exact, I would like to have decent skills in all three sports.

Today I'm excited about the next finish line, but more importantly, I'm also excited about the journey.